Okay, time for some personal chatter and a day.  As some may know, my family isn't in the best of shapes. My mother is very ill, and I don't see them very often due to how I'm off myself. However.

I needed to get in touch with my father the other day, and couldn't reach him on the phone. No message back, no answer, no nothing.   Pity, I wait and see. Got a call this morning from him, apologizing that he hadn't been answering the phone or calling back, but he'd been in hospital for observation after some heart issues.

Turns out that on top of his double leg amputation and diabetes, his oldtime chronic overweight and high bloodfat values, he's now got heart issues.    Right, such a pleasant reminder that I'm about to lose him as well.

Now, He's not gone. Neither is my mother.  Neither am I.   But it's still a shakeup.

And here I was planning on being dead three years ago, and the only reason I'm still here, is guilt and stubbornness.  Maybe one day I'll actually feel enthausiasm about something again.

Until then I'm going hard on sugar and distraction.