Got the site to work. Stared, felt it come over me, panicattack. Hateful , been cleaning the apartment, feverently looking for something to do. Considered cooking, realized I just wanted to put my hand on the hot stove, turned it off, ran away, can't make myself cook when I feel like this.

Don't know what to do now. Alone, nothing to do , nothing to do!

Can't focus, no gamin, no nothing.. what to do? ARGH!